How Do You Thrive in a Culture of Female Foeticide?

By Ritu Saheb, Architect, AIA

You don’t!!!

That’s right, which is why I left India at the age of 25. I was a licensed architect, but there was no hope for me if I was to set up my own business in Mumbai. Without a father, a brother, a husband, or other male figurehead to lend credibility to my business. That too in Mumbai, the most progressive city in India. I certainly didn’t want to play second fiddle to anyone. So I left.

The author in front of a house she literally helped construct in Mumbai, she worked there as a stone mason while studying architecture

Natural male to female birth ratios in the world are 100:106. In some regions in India they are as low as 100:80. The national average is around 100:93. This is a result of 3,000 year old culture that values males over females.

But not so in America.

However, women are still decrying work place sexual harassment, lack of equal opportunities, unequal pay for equal work, solo home responsibilities and more. How is it that I still find America to be a land of opportunities? Did I miss something?

Is it because I come from a land of very low expectations. As to what was expected of me as a woman, or what I would contribute to the society as a woman. All that society wanted of me was a progeny.

Even though as a child I was taught, I could do anything, I was still expected to tow the line. Isn’t there a contradiction there? Those around me would have liked me to think in a traditional manner, like my fathers and forefathers before me. In short, I had to live up to their antiquated idea of an ideal Indian woman.

They wanted me to marry a nice Indian man, have nice Indian children, and hold a nice Indian job (the job was completely optional). They would like me to pray to Shiva or Ganesh or any other Hindu deity, speak Hindi, not eat the forbidden beef, respect elders, help the poor and praise Mother-India. Just like they did.

The author witnessing her design come to life at Union Temple, Brooklyn

Well I didn’t do any of those things. At least not in the traditional Indian sense. Because secular and multi-cultural American society let me help others by helping myself first. It let me improve society by improving myself first.

The only question now remains, how far will this country let me progress as a female architect. Will I become Zaha Hadid, Jeanne Gang or like New York’s very own Anabelle Seldorf. All women who are changing society through urban design.

My hunch is yes. I am waiting for the next chapter of my life to unfold. Inequality be damned when you are motivated as heck!